Making friends in high school can be exciting as well as challenging. It takes time to build friendships and knowing where you’re at in that process can be confusing. However, friendships develop through stages and knowing what they are can make it easier to navigate these relationships with confidence.
The 5 Stages of Friendship When Making Friends in High School
Strangers meeting
Making friends in high school starts off by meeting as strangers. First meetings involve greeting each other, introducing ourselves, small talk and exchanging basic information like what grade you’re in, what classes you’re taking, you teachers, etc.
Acquaintances
At this stage you’ve seen each other around at school, already know each other’s names and perhaps some basic information. Conversations are casual as you’re still learning about each other. Topics are light like talking about school or current events, but nothing too personal. At this stage you might agree to exchange contact information and if you enjoy each other’s company, you or they might suggest spending together.
Casual friends
As casual friends stage, you are exploring. This means you’re spending some time together getting to know each other. You might sit together at lunch or during class. Chats consist of asking questions and sharing about each other to find common interests.
Close friends
Increased closeness means being vulnerable with each other, such as discussing the good and the tough parts of your personal life, providing emotional support to each other, engaging in activities of shared interest, and having experiences together, like attending each other’s birthdays, or going to out to places together.
Best friends
At this stage you and your friend have a close bond. There’s mutual trust, loyalty and understanding. You accept each other for who you are, and support one another in and out of school. At this point, you can talk about almost anything with each other, even the most private details without fear of judgment. Due to shared experiences, you develop memories and maybe even secrets together, strengthening your connection.
When Friendships End
Sometimes friendships don’t advance past these stages, and sometimes even the closest friendships end. Friendships can end for many reasons such as no longer having things in common, not having time to see each other, physical distance, or disagreements that can’t be resolved. Eventually friends grow distant and stop communicating, marking the end of the relationship.
It is okay for friendships not to advance or to end—this means that the two of you just aren’t or are no longer a good match. Finding and making friends is about finding your people. So take your time, check in with yourself on where you’re at in the process, and remember to have fun.
If you or someone you know is struggling to make friends, our therapists Shantal Placido, LCSW; Spencer McCauley, LCSW; and Teresa Giolitto, LMFT are here to help you navigate social interactions with confidence and support.
Please email us at spencerstherapypractice@gmail.com or click the green “Contact Us” button at the upper right hand corner of the page.
Author: Shantal Placido, LCSW
